


Sad Thor Hours

by Eyyo_Royyo



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gen, How Do I Tag, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, M/M, Thor (Marvel) Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-10 22:59:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15959384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eyyo_Royyo/pseuds/Eyyo_Royyo
Summary: I get Sad when I think about Thor for too long at 2 am. This was inspired by the song by Avicii, "Hey Brother". I know its overused for edgy stuff but hear me out.Thor centric, for obvious reasons.





	Sad Thor Hours

**Author's Note:**

> Lol if anyone can explain how to add tags that you can't find in the recommended that would be great

_"You will always be the god of mischeif. But you could be so much more."_

Every ounce of muscle in Thor's body begged for him to stop. The fires licking at his arms, the metal that tore strips of his flesh to ribbons when he moved across the ground- he could not feel any of it. His focus, the reason he had yet to let his mind shut off and take him to darkness, was just barely grasped in his hand.

**"Loki..."**

He briefly thought he felt some liquid leave his lips as he spoke. Loki's skin with its blue and splotches would have sent shivers of grief down his spine, had he the energy to be mortified.

_Crunch._

It still played in his head on loop.  
His ears were still ringing as Thor bowed his brow to rest upon his brother's placid chest.

Things could have turned out so differently if Thanos had not shown up.

There was an endless road to rediscover. They could have become the brothers they deserved to be for one another, Odin be damned.

 

He heard his own words from afar. The accusation. The shift of blame. Anger.

The memory was hazy, but Loki's uneasy features still burned themselves into his memory. Had he not been so furious, he would have noticed the hurt Loki had attempted to cover up. As ironic as it is, looking back, Thor is infinitely glad Hela showed up at that point.  
He wasn't sure how friendly he would have remained to his younger sibling had a deeper threat not appeared.

Her self declared authority proved any hope of diplomacy to be useless. Had they all been able to team up?

_Sister... Hela... we may be true kin. Born of the same heritage._  
_But I cannot stand beside you._

"I beg pardon??"

"I said...."

_These waters may be deep, sister. Our parents may be the same. I may wish with all of my heart that I can experience true sibling kinship... But I will share no blood with you._

"Kneel."

_And that's a promise._

 

"I... I think he's dying!"

"He needs the axe!"

Rocket's voice just barely filtered into focus. A wall seemed to separate them. Thor held not the energy to speak for himself, nor to move and attempt to help.

"Tree! Help me search for the handle!!"

Thor was well aware if he let himself slip here that it would spell the deaths of countless others, including the friends he had made recently. The Guardians needed him to pull through, Midgard needed him to pull through.  
But Asgard? His family? His dearest companions?

Even if the stars came falling down upon him, would he even bother to look up now? What point was there, if not to protect his loved ones? Sure, he still had his Avenger friends, including one of his greatest Midgardian friends, Bruce. And sure, there was a chance Brunnhilde, Korg and Meik all escaped with the pathetic number remnants of his people.

But Loki is dead. If he had lived, he would have done everything in his power to take down Thanos. Hell, if his brother still stood by his side, he would have insisted they craft a weapon for him, too. He would have hopped right back up and held the eye open all over again.

There's nothing in the nine realms he wouldn't have done to keep his little brother alive.

  
_"Your savior is here!!"_

Thor had heard the declaration clear from the balcony of the palace. Even as Hela pushed her daggers further into his back.  
Good thing he has built up a slight "immunity" to knives over the years, else he would be much worse off.

His mind was swimming with relief at seeing his brother's return, to the point that most of what Hela said after that became a muddled garble. Only when she turned him over and pinned his arm down did he manage to refocus- just as his neck began to be squeezed from under his chin.

"What were you the god of again?"

How did it come to this? Loki fighting a fight that truly should not be his, his sister crushing the life out of himself, and his people scrambling to an alien ship in hopes of not being skewered by zombies.

His people needed him. Odin looked down upon him. He smiled at his son.

**"No."**

Did Loki still believe in him? Is that why he came back?

**"You're stronger."**

As lightning poured out of the sky to meet his burning tears, Thor knew that he had no chance of redeeming his sister. As she fell to the ground below and he joined the fray on the Bifröst's bridge, he knew.  
Did she do all of this out of spite to Odin? Or did she truly wish the best for Asgard, and wanted to spread its rule throughout all of the cosmos?  
Did she stop believing in the love of her family? Her people?  
He never was able to know.

  
Seeing Loki's tear streaked face dangling below him, only rooted to the spot due to Gungnir stretched between them was like a mural permanently seared into his mind. Thor barely registered the broken pleas he begged of his brother, but more the harsh words sent over his shoulder by his father.

_"I did it for us! I did it for all of us!"_

Thor knew it. He could barely hold any anger in his heart for the ruining of his coronation when his baby brother swayed above the jaws of the abyss directly before his eyes. They were not model siblings. Not on any account.

But not once did he stop believing in him.  
As the stars came crashing down, as Loki's empty eyes faded into the abyss...  
He wished he had done more. He could have.  
He should have done anything for him.

 

Thor could have gazed lovingly at the gorgeous reptile wound about his hands for eternity, had it allowed him to. The snake he had found absolutely captured his heart, and he just barely bit back the urge to press a kiss to its narrow maw.

_"MBLERGH, It's me!!"_

That is, until its entire body morphed and shifted back into a little boy. He would have yelped from the knife lodged in his chest had he not been so shocked. It was the first time Loki was able to fully transform like this. He felt overwhelming pride, even at the expense of a bit of blood.

Frigga barely held her own smiles back as she scolded the two for roughhousing so much.

The body he saw collapse to the ground before him; he wished so desperately they were not one and the same with the one he hugged and praised that day when they were eight.

He was miles and miles away from home. What home was there, if Asgard was destroyed and killed? Midgard was not it, even if it would welcome him like it was.

If only he could hear him one last time.

_The sun will shine on us again._

**Bullshit.**

 

Thor did not bother to look at the guns that were pointed toward him, or the hostile environment he woke up in. Even if he was soon cleaned up and given food, he did not feel safe, or comfortable. Even when the understanding rabbit declared his agreement to Thor's plan, he did not feel joy. He felt a twinge of something when said rodent back talked the cranky Midgardian, but it had left him long before he could latch onto it.  
He wished it was his father, Heimdall- even Loki, confirming his actions to be correct. He wanted so desperately to have a second opinion he could fully trust.

  
For the record, he knows what the word "moron" means.

 

"Are you sure you're up for this particular murder mission?"

Hearing outside doubt stirred an odd sense of fear in his belly. So he denied it, and listed off all of the raging emotions circling his chest and head. Thanos may have won the first time. He may have beaten him once.  
But he would not let him live a second time.

"And if you're wrong?"

As if it mattered. As if whether he lives through this fight matters. He has fought so many wars and battles he has lost count- he has no reason to count.

**"What more could I lose?"**

Rocket pointed out that Thor spoke as if he had little to gain. And, truthfully, he did. He would gain vengeance. He could not receive his brother or his dead people. He could not bring Heimdall back to his side. What weight does vengeance hold in sight of these truths?

  
Brunnhilde gazed down to him as their ship began to lift off the runway.

"Don't die. You know what I mean."

He knew he would not. He could not. The last of the Valkyrie had wordlessly sworn to protect him, and help defend their people.  
Without her, he knew they would have no chance.

Even when Hela had them both on the ground, panting and bleeding, he knew Brunnhilde would not let up. She was on a death march, and she wished for nothing other than to see Hela destroyed and gone.  
Surtr making his entrance had never been such a sweet sight.

Thor would have laid down everything next to their Valkyrie to defend what they could salvage of Asgard. Even if the worlds came crashing down onto them, even if Hela dragged the cosmos afar to crush them to dust...  
There was nothing in this realm he wouldn't do to stand by Brunnhilde's side.

 

Banner had been so riled up. Thor was deeply worried that Hulk would return and take Bruce away for good.  
He wouldn't on the face of Sacaar, but Thor did his best to express how much he cared about the issue. He even promised Bruce safe passage, even if it held no benefit for Asgard. Thor likes to think he entertains the thought of being a gentleman from time to time.  
Thor was the one that buckled Banner into the ship's seat, had caught him when the ship lurched. He was the one that was stressing his heart out last minute when Banner worried that travelling through the anus may cause Hulk to forcibly appear.  
He could feel Brunnhilde's knowing stares through his back as he comforted his friend. It mattered little when moments later they were all strapped in and dutifully passed out.

He barely had any time to make known how much he appreciated Bruce's cooperation and support. They had once been team mates, but barely anything beyond that. Here they are again as new team mates to a new team with new meaning.  
He had such a long road ahead of him he could have walked down with Bruce. A friend that could rival in care and loyalty to Heimdall.  
A mortal.

Funny, how Heimdall forfeited his life to save the person that could and, apparently, would end up taking his spot in defending Thor's back.  
For every star in the universe, he wished it did not have to be this way.

He would have done anything for Heimdall. He would have dragged moons across the sky for Bruce.  
He would have done anything but watch everything around him burn.

Surtr's prophecy came true.

 

What was the point of his power if it did not hold any sway? Why was everyone else dissolving in the winds? His body felt firm. He knew his fate did not mirror the one of Steve's beloved companion. Of the brave Falcon that had been shot down too many times to bear counting. The flawed, yet noble and powerful king that was willing to sacrifice his homeland for the sake of life itself. The beautiful force of destruction forever torn apart from her loved one. The one that was slain twice for a cause he held no hope of aiding. Thor's heart was torn apart as Groot called out for his father. Rocket was unable to stop the young sapling's limbs from falling to pieces.

_**You should have gone for the head.** _

Families were being torn apart. Babies were being taken from expecting mothers. Siblings were being isolated. Buses, planes, boats, all doomed due to a lack of pilot.

_**You should have gone for the head.** _

The empathatic maiden. The ostracized warrior. The betrayed halfling. The self-sacrificing sorcerer. The boy.

Blood was caked on Thor's hands. Alien blood, when speaking literally.

"Where'd he go??"

But the blood of infinite innocents burned at his fingers. It was scorched into his axe. The deaths that led to this. Every ounce of his heart he gave to create Stormbreaker. Every inch of burned flesh he had hastily slapped back together on the Bifröst to Midgard. Every person that left him behind for a better eternity.  
He wished it was not all for nothing.

_Oh, if the sky comes falling down._

Rain failed to hide his agony. The clouds in the sky did not find pity for this forsaken god. What good was he if he could not defend the weak? Or even defend the strong, that were not enough to defeat the stronger?  
Every single one of the heroes he sided with was brought to their knees by Thanos. He was certain Steve had been straight up murdered with a single hit. Their leader. Decimated.  
They deserved so much more.

_There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do._

 

  
"Brother, do you think it is a good idea for us to return to Earth?"

"Yes, of course! People of Earth love me, I'm very popular."

"Let me rephrase that. Do you think it is a good idea to bring me back to Earth?"

"Probably not, to be honest. I wouldn't worry, brother. I feel everything is going to work out okay."

 

_**"Undying?"** _

_"You.. will never be..... a god..."_

_**"YOUR BIRTHRIGHT IS TO DIE!!"** _

_"Father, are you proud?"_

_"Did you miss me?"_

_"I'm...honored?"_

  
_Brother... Just say the word. Please._

Purple flames had licked at his open wounds in the ship that day. The smell of death had yet to leave his brain.

_I will be at your side in an instant. Even if it costs me everything._

_Please._

The image of Frigga's pale and stiff body permeated his thoughts. Odin's form bursting into millions of golden lights.  
Loki's blank stare. All. Three. Times.

_Please, brother. I swear to help you. I swear I will protect you this time._

  
_"I didn't do it.... for him..."_

  
_Even if the stars comes falling down..._

_For **you**?_

"If you were here, I may even have given you a hug."

_There's nothing in this realm I wouldn't do._

"I'm here."

_Just please come back to me._

**Author's Note:**

> Lol imagine all this angst crashing and burning as A4 comes out with Loki as the poster girl in a Hawkeye onesie and three Kid Cuisines in his lap


End file.
